random

it's been reallly long that i din post anything up in my blog...
my blog almost died...or maybe dying i dont know...

sigh rite now there are so many things pondering me...
just so many...
it really makes me feel distress...
i hope i will receive some breakthrough soon...
knowing that i've not been doing what im supposed to do, really upset me...
things seems to turn out not the way i wanted...
whenever i look at the outcome i feel like banging my head against the wall...
i feel like im not like who i am before...
someone told me if i did not fall i will never knew how to rise up...
i guess this is how it should be said...i'm not sure...
what i know is i've fallen...
sigh...
everyday i have to put on a smile on my face...
accepting the fact but is so hard...
yet i need to push myself and force myself to think that way...
my heart is screaming and mourning...
is tormented...and i hate it...
i admit that im useless now...i surrendered eventhough time is not up...
yet what do i get in return?
all i can do is wait and forget and let days goes by...
hoping someday my patient will be fruitful.....
life is just so challenging and ever changing i feel....

Oh LORD....please guide me through...