Scribbles

Recently, i've been so stress and moody.
Seriously i wish i can just sleep the whole day without even care what is going on or being disturbed by anyone.
only at this time, i could feel myself survive even if i'm all by myself or alone.

i understand most of you went through your finals (as in education) and perhaps all r trying to tell me that it'll be alright.
despite myself being a pessimistic especially at this time around, i did not work my best to solve my problem.
all i can think of in my brain is "what if..."
i know myself is pathetic enough now coz all i do is whine whine whine!!

and yes, i think by doing so i'll feel better.

This semester is soooooo tough that on one hand i feel i'm blessed coz i give up Actuarial Science, on the other hand , i took something that is not any better too. just maybe just a tad better than Actuarial.

normally, visiting lecturer to me is a good sign and i dont mind not attending their class if those lecturer sucks. but this time, i attend and Oh LORD HELP ME... since the beginning of the semester, lecturer already telling us how tough this course is bla bla bla...everything is bad, tough, hard, fail...every single subject. WHY do this to me at this final stage of my education...really i can't accept failure anymore because it kills me. Once the visting lecturer come, they make me even worse because by then u know what r they assessing us in exam. and once again *PLEASE HELP ME MY HOLY FATHER* they proven me that the exam is nothing i've attempted before. now i wish 1 day have 48hours for me to do everything i could.

i've limited time...
seriously maybe 2 months...

i doubt i have any hope.

sometimes i c those ppl so chilling, i will think too myself, why so serious?
but the fact is, i take this rather seriously and please don't joke with me coz i'll get pissed and no, i wont fight with u but i will keep silent because i hate you. i hate u r stupid, i hate u r smart, i hate everythingggggggggg

right now my feeling is:
this is my last hope, last chance, and i mustttttttt pass....
but the outcome is not favourable to me at all!
so what am i gonna do ? still hoping though...thatz all..hope......
i want this sooooooooo badly more than GUCCI, SALVATORE, YSL...
and again "what if?"
sighhhhhhhhhh

sometimes i wish ppl could really be understandable to me and respect me for being serious.
sometimes i wish ppl will care for my emotion and feeling when i call them not to disturb me.
sometimes i wish ppl could understand that i'm not scolding them or any hard feeling for them for being moody and wanna be alone.

I want...

Vacation

ever since, Hong Kong, not include other place i went because other places i go is for competition which mean can't enjoy as much as i want to, i really miss vacation ... a real vacation..i guess i'm the most easy to satisfy kinda person as i don't care where i go for vacation (of course the nicer place better lerh) i will still enjoy it because it's vacation = RELAX. AHHHH i want more but limited $$$$$

Fujifilm Instax 210

Just watch youtube regarding this bulky toy!! (no is not eexactly a toy! it's a polaroid camera)
i want this because it seems that aside being so big and ugly, i like the effect of the picture and so old school. Just afraid that the film no longer will be available and it will rot in my possession. i could imagine me holding it which im not even sure if i can hold it with one hand coz is so big. but ocoz is big in order to have bigger picture rite...i like big picture rather than mini size 1 which the instax also have mini size, but i just love big wide photo more...that's y i hesitate to get the mini 1. So should i get this?

Dolce & Gabbana Rose the One Perfume

So in love with this fragrance..the scent indescribable. God knows how hard i fall in love with perfume due to i'm very picky in choosing the best scents that i want on my body. I have JLO Still perfume which i try to use it at minimal because i love that scents too much that i am worried it will be gone! But i wanted to try alternative and this is the alternative that i found which have the same likings!!! I loveeeeee and i want this too...

DKNY Be Delicious Fresh Blossom Perfume

Well to be honest i really can't compare this with D&G rose the one perfume because both of this is LOVEEEEEEEE... and i like both of it...however, the major different is that, in my opinion, D&G is more feminine and i guess since is D&G, high-end brand, i guess the scents last longer? no? any comment? im not sure coz i havent got 1 yet and ocoz i want also...ahahah This DKNY to me is more sweet rather than feminine. My definition of sweet is not the sugar sweet but to portray a sweet angelic girly girl. And this is cheaper. perhaps i could get it my own ? ='( $$$$$$$

Tattoo

On the other note,i've been wanting tattoo since like clement's got his one. Supposed he got it during his 21st and i plan to do mine on 21st but too bad it didnt happen coz no cash again. Perhaps many of you will say, no more don't try to want to many things. LOL but i think when i got money, those things i want might not be the things that i will buy anymore..but then, tattoo can be made anytime and i'm sure the place i wanna get tattoo wouldnt closed down anytime soon. So, i will definitely getting it but perhaps in near future...



the Question is:

which 1 should i choose as my present???

Pop The Cherry

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Movie review

Actually i watched this movie since few months ago .
Again, i don't see it in cinema (not sure) so i watched through downloading it.
i can't expressed how much i love to watch this show.
i can watch over and over again from laptop to HBO again and again.
but watching it via HBO somehow there's lotsa censored.
so is better to download it and watch.

there's nothing that i don't like about this show.
i feel is brilliant and somehow i just feel fear as i keep thinking what if i'm that daughter.
*touchwood*
i wish this movie can be longer...LOL cause i don't want it to end.

rate: 10/10

People is crazy about this movie.
So of course have to watch it rite?
ended up i guess whoever watched this movie, all went abit unrealistic or gone crazy..
LOL
i guess nothing much i could say because it seems that everyone is talking about it.
please don't ask me what is the ending or you don't understand or do i understand.
Noone can give definite answer i believe.
Not even the director or scriptwriter.
Perhaps it is just the way a director tried to produce such movie that will allow us to use our brain in many different way, different interpretation from different people.
so, i think the conclusion is all yours.

To make things simpler for me and to avoid me from getting nuts thinking about this movie.
i will conclude that from the very beginning, it is all just Cobb's dream since he said that noone can remember the beginning of a dream..LOL

done!

rate: 8/10

i think this is really pretty good movie.
not trying to be biased because i love angelina jolie so much.
but seriously is pretty good.
action movie with some twist and turn to it.
not a dull movie at all.
:)

i like.........

rate: 8/10

movie review (it's been long time)

Watch this yesterday night..
i dont think malaysia cinema has this on screen though.

it is hilarious and unique storyline.
this show is just so creative in the way it actually rewind back the story.
so u know what actually happened.

i love this movie!

rate: 9/10

I think the best Toy Story movie so far!
i'm not a fan of toy story 1 or even 2 when i was a teen.
i felt that this movie kinda scary because toys alive? eee creepy~
but now when i watch back the TOY STORY 1 & 2 (3D)
it began to interest me and i enjoyed it.
So when PART 3 came out,
i really wanted to watch it.
and luckily i did because
it is so funny and i like the animation, the graphics everything...
you gotta watch it !

rate: 9/10

PUDU JAIL DEMOLITION

NST NEWSPAPER

KUALA LUMPUR: When the clock strikes 10pm tonight, the 394m stretch of Pudu Jail wall fronting Jalan Pudu will be demolished after having served its purpose for the past 100 years.

Construction on the 4.5 metre wall, also known as Pudu Goal, started in 1891 in Jalan Hang Tuah, and it was fully completed in 1895 at a cost of RM15,360.

The wall, which once set a record for the longest mural in the world (384m), now carries no meaning in the bustling hub of development at Bukit Bintang Golden Triangle.

The prison itself stopped operating in 1996 and its inmates were shifted to the Sungai Buloh Prison, located 36km from here, after the building could no longer cater to the high volume of up to 6,550 people at a time since 1985.

The memories linked to the historic landmark will remain part of the country's history even after the wall is torn down in a move proposed by Kuala Lumpur Mayor Datuk Seri Ahmad Fuad Ismail.

The move is part of an effort to ease traffic congestion in the area through a road-widening project, including the construction of an underpass.

A check yesterday showed soil levelling works on the prison premises completed and awaiting today's wall demolition, a plan which drew flak from those who cherish the building's heritage.

Prabu Munusamy, 32, expressed his disappointment, saying the prison complex could be a valuable tourist attraction.

He said although the building had housed criminals, it should be preserved for its own unique values.

"This prison has even held several prominent convicts and until today, the public still come by to see and take photos there."

Chew Chong Huai, 52, said he was saddened to know that the historic structure, which should be made a heritage site, would be torn down.

"In other countries, such as China for example, historical landmarks would be kept and preserved as tourist attractions."

Irwan Hashim, 32, also disagreed with the move to demolish the complex and wall, saying the city was already congested with development.

"Enough with these developments. Kuala Lumpur is already packed with buildings and shopping complexes. Let us not destroy what is left of our heritage."

A tourist from the Philippines, 49-year-old Farancisco B. Lopez said Pudu Jail should be preserved for tourism purposes, such as the Alcatraz prison in California, United States.

"It's a waste and pointless. I was told this building is one of the historical sites in Malaysia as it was built in the 1800s." -- Bernama

---

MY SAY!


I felt that is kinda waste for such a meaningful trademark that symbolizes KL actually. Not to say that KL represents convict but the Pudu jail has been the landmark in KL since like 100 years!!! thatz a long and should be considered historic year!

I'm sure everyone knows where is PUDU jail. Whenever we wanna meet up or go somewhere in Kl, asking direction...often we mentioned Pudu Jail, eventually we know where it is.

It will be so empty now when i go to Sungei Wang. without seeing those great walls and the eerie-ness of it when i passed, it just different now.

HOwever, knowing that they demolished it for the purpose of shopping mall? such a ridiculous and stupid thing to do...aren't we enough shopping mall already????
can they just use the land for good purpose for God sake!

Times Square shopping mall is already failed enough, and now building another 1 next to it, it doesnt make it better.

I hope that Government spend time on increasing and improving the economy of the country in the long term rather than running a short term profit project like building shopping mall!!

IT's not easy to have a 100 year old building. we dont see it anywhere so often. At least sometimes we can see 100 years old trees..but building...it just rare!

♥you're special and you're always be remembered

*first of all, i apologized for posting up this photo as it may spoil your appetite*

so i rather not mentioned the names.
except myself who is the far left fat lil girl...sigh*

but today im not talking about me.
but the main family member of mine: my beloved dog, Mungo ♥

As you may know, Lassie who passed away last year was his mother.
Lassie gave birth to 3 cute lil pups actually.
but one of them died just few minutes after he was born.
so left 2.
we named them Fluffy and Mungo.
Fluffy was kinda short fur with a very pure white furball pups.
and Mungo as u can c is just so adorable with slightly long furry fur and beige in colour.
Fluffy was given away to people as Grandpa said we're crazy for taking care so many since the fact is that we couldnt have the ability to take care all of them.
eventually, fluffy couldnt be retain..and he was given away )=
we beg and beg and beg my grandpa nt to give mungo away.
i love mungo alot since he was born.
he was naughty and fat.
i remember the time i carried him, he alwayz fight back and never stay still..
but i like him just too much...
finally, grandpa agreed not to give him away.

Mungo♥ see us grow from at early young age to now where most of us already hit 20s.
just imagine how long it is.
we never treat any of our dogs as just dogs but part of our family member.
because we know they care about us so r we.

Nevertheless, he gave us so much of joy, laughter, sadness and mostly happiness
just as much as Lassie does.

However,
all good things have to come to an end some day.
and yesterday was the day.

Throughout, the 8 days,
i have never felt so numb in my life.
i know that i'm mentally exhausted of worrying, fearing, praying, driving back and forth to Puchong,not caring if it will cost me anything or im losing my attendance in school or my kancil will died halfway there etc.
i just feel so numb.
i care nothing but Mungo♥
i know for some of u u may think is not worth it.
but to me it worth every single thing i do for him.
is the least i can do.
the first day i brought him with grandpa have led my heart almost to the stopping point.
i really couldnt describe how i felt.
not denying i've been crying since day 1.
forcing myself to stay so so strong.
not wanted to listen to wateva people say.
all i wan to do is pray and think of him.
every day i woke up at 10am coz i know vet open at 10am.
i called the vet immediately as i worried about him and i want to know as soon as i can how he is.
really i think i cant control myself.
is just too hard.

On Friday night i stayed over in my grandpa's house,
because it was public hols and vet closed early.
so doc allowed us to stop the drip and bring him home.
sis brought him home and
i never know how happy he was till i read her blog.
at least he still have the chance to be home ♥
i decided to stay over coz im worried and
i hope he really will eat something when he is finally comfortable at home.
i reached there at night,
but all i see was him lying there.
grandpa and grandma told me how happy he was in the afternoon.
i hope i can really c him that happy again.
but all i can feel is through his innocent eye.
telling me he is happy.
and all i c physically was him suffering.
morning, once i woke up i ran down to c him.
but i was really reluctant to bring him back to vet.
but looking at him this way is not much better anyway.
and it was right.
the next day once he got on the drip..
he seems to have more strength again.

i was relief yet again doc said gotta do another blood test.
Oh Lord i said...
this time i hope that i do not know the result.
and results come out as bad.
at that moment i know,
everyone will be devastated.
so is true.
sadly, is true.
it was the hardest decision so far that we have to make.
and we've made our decision.
though it is hurtful to lose him,
but is even worse to see him suffer like this.
i truly reluctant....
i truly miss him...
i truly do not wan him go...
and all i can do is try to stay calm and not make my grandpa feel even worse to see me cry.
i went out.
the air that i inhale seems to take my breath along.
i wish i could just faint and evrything is just a dream.


i never see Grandpa tears flowing down before.
this was the first time.
i know our sadness even all of us combined,
will never be compared to how sad my Grandpa is.
but my Grandpa stay strong and say his last word to him.
we've finally fulfill 1 thing that we could not do to lassie.
bidding our last goodbye.

i did not watch him.
i want him to be always the happy joyful dog just like his mother
in my heart.


------------------------------------------------------------------

Mungo,
i just wanna say that i miss you so much and i love you so much.
You and Lassie can never be replaced.
As you are always our beloved family member.


till we meet again, Mungo♥



-010310-

"Until then, I'll keep trying to see through my tears,
with memories you left us, to reflect through the years.
We'll never forget one minute we spent,
of loving and laughing, of places we went.
But one day will come, when we'll start to see through,
the pain of the moment, and remember just "you".
Now you go and play, and look down when you can,
remembering we love you, and this isn't the end."
-unknown author-