♥you're special and you're always be remembered

*first of all, i apologized for posting up this photo as it may spoil your appetite*

so i rather not mentioned the names.
except myself who is the far left fat lil girl...sigh*

but today im not talking about me.
but the main family member of mine: my beloved dog, Mungo ♥

As you may know, Lassie who passed away last year was his mother.
Lassie gave birth to 3 cute lil pups actually.
but one of them died just few minutes after he was born.
so left 2.
we named them Fluffy and Mungo.
Fluffy was kinda short fur with a very pure white furball pups.
and Mungo as u can c is just so adorable with slightly long furry fur and beige in colour.
Fluffy was given away to people as Grandpa said we're crazy for taking care so many since the fact is that we couldnt have the ability to take care all of them.
eventually, fluffy couldnt be retain..and he was given away )=
we beg and beg and beg my grandpa nt to give mungo away.
i love mungo alot since he was born.
he was naughty and fat.
i remember the time i carried him, he alwayz fight back and never stay still..
but i like him just too much...
finally, grandpa agreed not to give him away.

Mungo♥ see us grow from at early young age to now where most of us already hit 20s.
just imagine how long it is.
we never treat any of our dogs as just dogs but part of our family member.
because we know they care about us so r we.

Nevertheless, he gave us so much of joy, laughter, sadness and mostly happiness
just as much as Lassie does.

However,
all good things have to come to an end some day.
and yesterday was the day.

Throughout, the 8 days,
i have never felt so numb in my life.
i know that i'm mentally exhausted of worrying, fearing, praying, driving back and forth to Puchong,not caring if it will cost me anything or im losing my attendance in school or my kancil will died halfway there etc.
i just feel so numb.
i care nothing but Mungo♥
i know for some of u u may think is not worth it.
but to me it worth every single thing i do for him.
is the least i can do.
the first day i brought him with grandpa have led my heart almost to the stopping point.
i really couldnt describe how i felt.
not denying i've been crying since day 1.
forcing myself to stay so so strong.
not wanted to listen to wateva people say.
all i wan to do is pray and think of him.
every day i woke up at 10am coz i know vet open at 10am.
i called the vet immediately as i worried about him and i want to know as soon as i can how he is.
really i think i cant control myself.
is just too hard.

On Friday night i stayed over in my grandpa's house,
because it was public hols and vet closed early.
so doc allowed us to stop the drip and bring him home.
sis brought him home and
i never know how happy he was till i read her blog.
at least he still have the chance to be home ♥
i decided to stay over coz im worried and
i hope he really will eat something when he is finally comfortable at home.
i reached there at night,
but all i see was him lying there.
grandpa and grandma told me how happy he was in the afternoon.
i hope i can really c him that happy again.
but all i can feel is through his innocent eye.
telling me he is happy.
and all i c physically was him suffering.
morning, once i woke up i ran down to c him.
but i was really reluctant to bring him back to vet.
but looking at him this way is not much better anyway.
and it was right.
the next day once he got on the drip..
he seems to have more strength again.

i was relief yet again doc said gotta do another blood test.
Oh Lord i said...
this time i hope that i do not know the result.
and results come out as bad.
at that moment i know,
everyone will be devastated.
so is true.
sadly, is true.
it was the hardest decision so far that we have to make.
and we've made our decision.
though it is hurtful to lose him,
but is even worse to see him suffer like this.
i truly reluctant....
i truly miss him...
i truly do not wan him go...
and all i can do is try to stay calm and not make my grandpa feel even worse to see me cry.
i went out.
the air that i inhale seems to take my breath along.
i wish i could just faint and evrything is just a dream.


i never see Grandpa tears flowing down before.
this was the first time.
i know our sadness even all of us combined,
will never be compared to how sad my Grandpa is.
but my Grandpa stay strong and say his last word to him.
we've finally fulfill 1 thing that we could not do to lassie.
bidding our last goodbye.

i did not watch him.
i want him to be always the happy joyful dog just like his mother
in my heart.


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Mungo,
i just wanna say that i miss you so much and i love you so much.
You and Lassie can never be replaced.
As you are always our beloved family member.


till we meet again, Mungo♥



-010310-

"Until then, I'll keep trying to see through my tears,
with memories you left us, to reflect through the years.
We'll never forget one minute we spent,
of loving and laughing, of places we went.
But one day will come, when we'll start to see through,
the pain of the moment, and remember just "you".
Now you go and play, and look down when you can,
remembering we love you, and this isn't the end."
-unknown author-